14 January

obsessive - compulsive

i went on vacation recently. preparing for that, i ensured that i have enough emergency supplies to put in my luggage and that i won’t need to empty my cabinet at home for this purpose. i’m particularly fixated at stocking up medicines (you know, to treat early signs of sickness to avoid spreading the germs), toiletries (i panic when there’s just one unopened box of tissue left) and, as if it’s customary, chocolates (i’m thinking, sweets are emergency “survival” food when you can’t cook during brownout on typhoon days).
it took me awhile to brace because of several time-outs necessary for my peace of mind – checking more than once that the doors are secured, looking out to see if the car’s still there. (hey, you’ll never know when mr. carnapper shall strike!)

anyway..
i noticed, as i always do, that my stuff are presented in an obvious pattern – the chocolates in the box are arranged according to size and shapes, the medicines grouped on their own separate boxes, the toiletries in straight line. and i never tire of the time-outs i mentioned. which justifies john’s nickname for me: “OC”, otherwise known as obsessive-compulsive.

the “title” doesn’t seem to sound like it’s a healthy mental condition, does it? so am i being accused of having abnormal habits????

let me see…
i constantly move our furnitures to give the house a new look – that is done on a regular schedule without miss: first quarter of the new year, as my reminder-activated-calendar would sound off.
cds are piled according to theme, then alphabetically on singer’s name.
photos are booked on albums based on categories, with descriptions that guests may easily identify.
i have this overconcern on keeping things that would remind me of events – like programs, show tickets, dried flowers, etc..
medicines are always 10 of each, with type-written labels outside their containers (all using “times new roman”, size 8) stating what it is for.
all sheets are white only. all towels, too.
i freak out when the toilet seat cover is up.
i go to every toilet in site. that’s to make sure i don’t have to go when there’s no toilet in site.

i eagerly await permission from a colleague that i clean his car.
i badly want to vacuum the roof of our building.
i keep hoping that somebody maintains my way of filing the forms in the aircraft that i don't even fly these days.

hmmmm…. that seems unusual, alright; and by far affords me candidacy in the ms vanity fair!
for curiosity, i took the obsessive - compulsive screening quiz. the
test result supposedly defines my state of mind:

If you scored 0 - 7 : OCD is unlikely; 8 - 11 : OCD is probable; 12 & up : OCD is likely. You scored a total of 27.
Based upon your responses to this screening measure, you are most likely suffering from an obsessive-compulsive disorder. It would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek a professional diagnosis from a trained mental health professional in your community immediately.

the reference says: “disorder” screening. say again??? a disorder???? excuse me, how can it be a disorder when you cause everything to be, that’s it, in order???

this obsessive – compulsive thing puzzles me. a beauty secret, or a threat to sanity? is it right to say that it depends on how serious the “disorder” is, and how long you’ve had it?

you see, in my case, it’s not a congenital "disease". am not very proud of that fact, but i recognize that i got the “virus” only by evolution. via some magical wand, hitting the mid 20s resulted to a 360-degree turn on my ways. vanity suddenly engulfed me, wiping out the disgusting memory that once upon a time, i didn’t even know where my socks are actually kept because each drawer in my cabinet has a pair of socks.

in the turn of the century, i became a 'monica gellar'. in other words, neat! :-)

but freak? :-(

so again, is this a blessing or a disaster?

agree or not, this is obviously another one of society's loosely defined phenomenon.

que sera sera.
as life goes on..