............"I'll know what i think when i see what i say" -- graham wallas............
****************************************************************************************************************
just when i wanted to keep a memory of my 'pondering by chance', i found an avenue to share, if not view alone, what runs in my mind AS LIFE GOES ON.it’s yesterday once more
when you become unfamiliar with the music played on the radio, you realize that it’s been a long time since you were in high school.
i had a good number of girlfriends that time with whom i exchanged silly tattletales and friendly banters. but sharing good laughs and secrets, i did exclusively with one pal. we call each other “igan” (yap, that word was already in our vocabulary long before it became a “salitang kanto”).
igan and i were, in many details, unlike each other: she’s eldest one in her family, i’m youngest girl in mine; she’s mestiza, i’m just a wannabe; her hair is curly, mine is straight (when i grew my hair long, she had hers cut short); she likes singing, i prefer dancing; she’s attracted to older men, i’m drawn to guys my age; she's good in numbers, i'm... ow, never mind..
but opposites attract, as they say; so we clicked.
with this person, i added a new word in the dictionary that only she and i can understand : "haya". that's the term. we'd use it to describe any emotion that we couldn't define ourselves. and we understand each other.. serrr..somehow.. i don't know how.
for the most part of that phase in our adolescence, snooping at our crushes, and getting stalked by the wrong boys make up the day for us.
ha!ha! those were the days..
and then a grand reunion was organized, for a good number of years had already walked by. has it been that long!..
when we met again, gone were the young minds and untouched hearts that used to differentiate us from the grown ups. gained responsibilities and some broken dreams have matured us, no doubt; yet, the giggles and mischief became evident in a snap of a finger like we didn’t get disconnected for long. it was too amusing that i almost forgot how age and a few sad stories should have changed us now. years of estrangement was not a hindrance to rekindle the friendship and closeness we enjoyed once upon a time. perhaps, when you had it then, you'll have it always..
the most classic episode for me was our high school bivouac, two nights stay into the woods, where senior training officers literally castigated us.. that tested my tolerance on igan, and her patience on me. i assisted her in an "emergency call of nature" (geez, i can’t believe i did that!); in return, she helped in the quest for my missing rubber shoes. we were both willing victim/s of each other, and didn’t mind the penalty we knew we’d get for reporting late in the drill.
no big deal doing that, i guess; but hey, no one else cared to join us in those ordeals!
and these days? in this part of the world where i am at? i have yet to know if there’s anyone willing to be my next victim..
in the midst of establishing a new life in a foreign land, where friends are a rarity at the start, i can only wish the good ole highschool days can come back..
at present, we maintain contact through the wonders of email, bridging the 8,000 miles that separate us. once more, we share secrets and exchange opinions. we reflect, cry, laugh together in virtual connection. this time, more intense, more insightful, as we both struggle to meet people’s (mostly relatives) expectations of us; but that tinge of high school naughtiness always finds its way into our conversation. what a pleasure.. "haya" talaga! :-)
come blink and sing-a-long,
while we bring back the best of times..
jinkies.. it’s yesterday once more.
as life goes on.
when i was youngah, high school life. that was when the world seemed like all fun and adventure. life was a lot less complicated back then when much of my worries focused on just pleasing the teachers and trying to look pretty.
i'd listen to the radio
waitin' for my favorite songs
when they played i'd sing along
it made me smile
i had a good number of girlfriends that time with whom i exchanged silly tattletales and friendly banters. but sharing good laughs and secrets, i did exclusively with one pal. we call each other “igan” (yap, that word was already in our vocabulary long before it became a “salitang kanto”).
igan and i were, in many details, unlike each other: she’s eldest one in her family, i’m youngest girl in mine; she’s mestiza, i’m just a wannabe; her hair is curly, mine is straight (when i grew my hair long, she had hers cut short); she likes singing, i prefer dancing; she’s attracted to older men, i’m drawn to guys my age; she's good in numbers, i'm... ow, never mind..
but opposites attract, as they say; so we clicked.
with this person, i added a new word in the dictionary that only she and i can understand : "haya". that's the term. we'd use it to describe any emotion that we couldn't define ourselves. and we understand each other.. serrr..somehow.. i don't know how.
for the most part of that phase in our adolescence, snooping at our crushes, and getting stalked by the wrong boys make up the day for us.
ha!ha! those were the days..
those were such happy timeswhen we went to college, the world suddenly became too big that we completely lost contact. blame it on our individual preferences on fields to pursue, we chanced upon each other just once or twice, i think, in the seasons that followed.
and not so long ago
how i wondered where they'd gone
and then a grand reunion was organized, for a good number of years had already walked by. has it been that long!..
when we met again, gone were the young minds and untouched hearts that used to differentiate us from the grown ups. gained responsibilities and some broken dreams have matured us, no doubt; yet, the giggles and mischief became evident in a snap of a finger like we didn’t get disconnected for long. it was too amusing that i almost forgot how age and a few sad stories should have changed us now. years of estrangement was not a hindrance to rekindle the friendship and closeness we enjoyed once upon a time. perhaps, when you had it then, you'll have it always..
but they're back againwould others want to relive that innocent, high school life? i would. in fact, i do. with vividness..
just like a long lost friend
all the songs i loved so well.
those old melodiesamazing how i can clearly state some happy thoughts of many years ago, when i find it hard to remember what i had for lunch just yesterday (can you recall?)!..
still sound so good to me
as they melt the years away
the most classic episode for me was our high school bivouac, two nights stay into the woods, where senior training officers literally castigated us.. that tested my tolerance on igan, and her patience on me. i assisted her in an "emergency call of nature" (geez, i can’t believe i did that!); in return, she helped in the quest for my missing rubber shoes. we were both willing victim/s of each other, and didn’t mind the penalty we knew we’d get for reporting late in the drill.
no big deal doing that, i guess; but hey, no one else cared to join us in those ordeals!
and these days? in this part of the world where i am at? i have yet to know if there’s anyone willing to be my next victim..
in the midst of establishing a new life in a foreign land, where friends are a rarity at the start, i can only wish the good ole highschool days can come back..
lookin' back on how it was in years gone bythrough the years that igan and i were out of touch, many things have happened, a lot more still in progress.. family issues, career developments, heartaches and recovery. we have pretty much changed our course in life, but not our choice of friends. we both added wisdom to our ways, but retained some shade of childishness that will not end the way we relate to each other.
and the good times that i had
makes today seem rather sad
so much has changed.
at present, we maintain contact through the wonders of email, bridging the 8,000 miles that separate us. once more, we share secrets and exchange opinions. we reflect, cry, laugh together in virtual connection. this time, more intense, more insightful, as we both struggle to meet people’s (mostly relatives) expectations of us; but that tinge of high school naughtiness always finds its way into our conversation. what a pleasure.. "haya" talaga! :-)
all my best memorieshooray to internet connection; i found ZARAH SANTONIL again (she’s mrs dizon now..)
come back clearly to me
some can even make me cry
just like before
come blink and sing-a-long,
while we bring back the best of times..
jinkies.. it’s yesterday once more.
as life goes on.
